What is Life Coaching?

In the past few years, therapeutic life coaching by therapists is on the rise. How is it different from traditional therapy? Not everyone is a candidate for life coaching, but for a number of people, coaching offers some interesting and different ways to move your life forward.

Counseling traditionally focuses on pain and suffering that the patient is experiencing internally or in their relationships, and supporting the patient through those darker emotions back to more internal peace and hope. In coaching, we can also focus on accomplishments, goal setting, motivation, pleasure, peak performance, and happiness. In coaching, we can broaden our view to look at building your best life. You don't have to have a problem, or symptoms, to get coaching. You might just feel stuck, or a desire to make your life even better than it is.

Therapists who do therapeutic coaching can incorporate the two backgrounds to work with clients collaboratively to develop goals. Coaching implies a more active role for the coach than the stereotyped view of a therapist who listens and nods, but doesn't give you much feedback. Therapeutic coaches may take a more active role, disclose more at times if they feel it will help their point, give you an exercise to do, or set goals with you.

A therapeutic coach is joining with you, and on your side promoting your growth and development as a person, parent, partner, and businessperson. A coach may contact you between sessions to check in with you, where traditional therapy stays in a more restricted frame inside the therapist's office.

Traditional therapy often meets once a week for an extended period of time, where coaching may be more flexible or time-limited. Coaching can even occur by telephone consultation, which can be convenient.

Coaching skills, like being able to help motivate people, set goals, recommend next steps, and taking an active leadership role when needed are helpful in the practice of regular therapy. Being a licensed therapist with coaching skills allows you to pull from both skill sets as needed. Since the field of coaching comes with its own vocabulary, like your "growing edge," it can expand the way I think about counseling clients, shifting from a focus on symptom-reduction to focusing on higher level goals for their future as they are ready, which might include physical health, career, money, spirituality, more satisfying relationships, and personal growth.

It's always nice to have choices. Sometimes a softer, holding place in therapy is what's needed, and at other times, an individual might need more challenge, encouragement, and some advice. Therapists who can also do therapeutic coaching can offer both.

What's Your Growing Edge?

People need goals.We need things we are learning,or striving to get better at.All our lives,we have an innate need to keep growing emotionally,intellectually,and physically.In life coaching,we call it "your growing edge".

When people say they are bored,it often means they are being boring.We can get in ruts.We can go to the same restaurants,see the same people,go to the same places,watch the same television shows,and shop at the same grocery store.We each need to take responsibility for mixing it up.Instead of the passive/victim role of being bored,we can shift to take the active role of keeping ourselves interesting and sharing those interests with those we care about.Sometimes our world becomes too small.This sense of boredom may be just the push we need to get a growing edge.

When people don't develop a healthy growing edge in mid-life they can get depressed.In contrast,some individuals act out inappropriately to resolve boredom in mid-life.It would be healthier to find a way to create a growing edge which develops your mind,spirit,career,personal goals,or reaches out to help others.

One of my favorite books,the classic "The Three Boxes of Life and How to Get Out of Them",reminds us that many people compartmentalize their lives far too much.Many individuals will do all of their play as a child,all their learning in school,and then work as an adult until they play again when retired.When we continue to learn,play,work and serve others throughout life we can stay more fun,vital,and energized.

What's your growing edge? Is there something you always wanted to learn or teach others? Is there a trip you always wanted to take or a book you wanted to write?As the recent premature death of Apple co-founder and technology inventor Steve Jobs reminded all of us,life is fragile.Living our lives fully and giving our gifts is incredibly important to happiness and satisfaction.

Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Everybody could use a supportive best friend who has your back,challenges you,and encourages the best in you.Maybe you already know them,and your new best friend is you.How can you become a wonderful friend to yourself?

Pay attention to your need for inspiration and positive input.If you are acting like a good friend to yourself,you will always be on the lookout for contact with people who lift you up and make you want to be a better person.Be on the lookout for interesting workshops,speakers,books,places,and experiences which will get your personal energy level up.Make plans that you look forward to,and which keep you having a growing edge.People aren't happy when they are bored,and some fresh ideas and input are refreshing.

Don't let anyone mistreat you.Stand up and be a champion for yourself.Move away from anyone who is toxic,negative,critical,or needy enough to swallow your spirit whole.Notice how you feel after spending time with people you know.Do you feel energized,relaxed,and refreshed? Or do you feel drained and worn out? Reschedule accordingly! Set limits and boundaries,with work and with family and friends.Surround yourself with only quality people who are courageous,honest,and kind.

Remember your rights as a human being.You have a right to be yourself.You are allowed to have your own thoughts,feelings,and ideas.God made you unique,and if you can't give yourself permission to be yourself,noone else can.Speak up.Don't allow anyone to belittle or demean you.It's your job.as your own best friend,to be protective of you.

What serendipity to find a wonderful best friend who has been there beside you all this time.Imagine that!

Treat yourself kindly.Do extreme self-care.Exercise,eat,and sleep intentionally,like you are here to last.Get rid of the Russian Olympic judge in your head who runs a negative commentary.Forgive yourself,and forgive others for not being perfect.Realize we can hit our own restart button anytime,and become a better parent,partner,or person anytime.While we can't redo the past,we can live well today.Allow yourself to apologize,and begin again.Eliminate your internal critic.

Try not to judge yourself or other people.It's not our job.Generally,most people do the best that they can at the time,and when they know more they can do better,in relationships,and in life.