This Is The New 80: Aging Well

This week, feminist and activist Gloria Steinem turns eighty. She's still writing, traveling, and speaking. She gave an interview to the New York Times in which she explains her birthday celebration plans. They included a "This is What 80 Looks Like" benefit fundraiser for the Shalom Center of Philadelphia, followed by a trip to Botswana, including an elephant ride.

Steinem is honest about her age, and while she colors her hair, she hasn't succumbed to changing her face or wrinkles. She is still very actively involved in her causes. I wonder if it keeps her younger. It's wonderful that she feels such as sense of purpose at 80.

As more of us can expect to live longer, into our 80's and 90's, we have an opportunity to consider how we want to approach aging.

Here are some things to consider:

1.Your energy level changes, often by 50 and beyond. How can you learn to pace yourself, take rest breaks, and focus on the most important things to be spending your time on? One challenge is adjusting your physical activities as you age. As Michelle Obama turned 50 this year, she shifted from cardio work outs to more of a focus on flexibility, with activities like yoga. Having a social network that encourages movement is helpful, too.

2.What can you do to still stay active mentally? Use it or lose it is the key principle. Staying involved with other people is important, and not isolating. Steinem is a good role model in this way, by continuing to stay involved actively in issues and causes she cares about. I always want to explore with my patients who are considering retirement, "What are you retiring to do?"

3. The research team using the 8 decade study started by Dr. Lewis Terman from Stanford University and follow up studies by Dr. Howard Friedman and Dr. Leslie Martin, show that people who have a purpose, and a life path with an active pursuit of their goals live longer. A larger social network, giving to your community, and building and maintaining a close marriage and/or friendships can add both more years and more life satisfaction. These life decisions also help individuals bounce back sooner from disappointments and loss. Friedman and Martin term it creating a "persistent, consequential, and social life".

4. Establish social and emotional ties. In both men and women, having the ability to maintain close relationships helps you live longer.  While Steinem married once late in her life and is now widowed, in this Sunday's interview with Steinem in the New York Times, she mentions that she has a cherished network of friends around the world that she stays in frequent contact with. She has known many of them for many years since the Feminist movement began in the 1960's.

5. Developing your spirituality, faith, or religious beliefs can also increase life span. Friedman and Martin suppose that is has to do with the health benefits of prayer and meditation.

Developing multiple facets of ourselves, and a life that has several sources of meaning can help us transition more successfully as we move across the lifespan. If too much of our self-esteem is caught up in physical attractiveness or a high energy level, it puts us at risk for more difficulty with the aging process. Aging well is more than denying it, or botoxing out expression lines. Aging well means continuing to find our purpose and staying connected to others. Wrinkles and loss happen automatically as we age but wisdom, contribution, and connectedness are all choices.

(Note: The Longevity Project: Surprising Discoveries for Health and Long Life from the Landmark Eight Decade Study, by Friedman and Martin (Plume Books,2012) is an interesting read.)

How Living Longer Will Change Most Everything

How would it change your life if you knew you were going to live to be over 100 years old? Futurist Sonia Aronson, a senior fellow at the Pacific Research Institute and a columnist for Tech News Now, has written a new book that previews some of the changes that are predicted in coming years as people around the globe live longer. In 100+: How the Coming Age of Longevity Will Change Everything From Careers and Relationships to Family and Faith (Basic Books, 2011), Aronson presents trends to watch for that will reshape our lives significantly.

In 2010, Monaco was the top country for life expectancy, with the average citizen living 89.78 years. Rounding out the top 10 were  Macau, San Marino, Andorra, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong, Australia, Canada, and France. Genetic makeup can help us to avoid cardiovascular disease, insulin resistance, and high blood pressure. Lifestyle and behavioral choices also contribute to the mix. In the future, Aronson predicts, most people will live beyond 100.

As more people live past 100 years of age, more changes will occur in families. Increases in fertility technology is expected to continue to extend the fertility window for women and couples. The trend of later marriage, which has been on the rise for decades, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, will continue. In the U.S., the age at first marriage is currently 28 for men and 26 for women. This age is expected to get even later as people live longer, with  both men and women seeking to establish a career and independence before marriage. More delays on both marriage and parenting are predicted in the future.

Research by the MacArthur Foundation and the University of Pennsylvania's Transitions to Adulthood Study predict later marriages will be qualitatively different, with more existance of the individuals involved, and relationships that appear more like the choreographed routines of pairs ice skating, incorporating both individual and couples' moves. More people are expected to make better and later marital choices.

Authors Linda Perlman and Susan Morris Shaffer, in their book, Mom,Can I Move Back In With You?, suggest a new term they coined called "adultescence," covering what was formerly a clearer transition from adolescence to adulthood between ages 18 and 20, to the new prolonged transition to adulthood which can take considerably longer. This transition can involve cycles of education, moving out, working, and moving back in with family. This trend is expected to continue and lengthen.

Dr. Helen Fisher, a Rutgers University anthropology professor and author of The Anatomy of Love (and also expert advisor to Chemistry.com, the dating website), is quoted in Aronson's book as noting an interesting statistic about the family change of divorce. Divorce, she notes, is primarily for the young, with 81% of all divorces for women finished by age 45. For men, 75% are done with divorce by age 45. Divorce is still most common in our 20's. If we don't marry until later, one can wonder if it will reduce the frequency of divorce.

As people marry later, people may choose more suitable partners. Alternatively, increased years may create the possibility of more break-ups and remarriages. Experts agree that in the future there will be more diversity in family living arrangements, with more non-biologically related individuals building family units.

In the future, more of us will have the gift of a "third age," a set of bonus years that previous generations didn't have, in which to cultivate wisdom and self-awareness. People will work longer, with periodic time off for job re-training and more education. Retirement will be redefined and delayed. There will be more of an emphasis on saving for unanticipated illness or economic instability. There will be increasing questions about the massive costs for end-of life healthcare. Staying up to date and competitive in the marketplace will continue to be critically important. The work force will incorporate more older workers, who tend to be more patient than their younger co-workers.

The extension of fertility and increased longevity will create bigger age gaps between siblings. This will create different  family bonds and dynamics, with less shared memories and history as siblings move more than 5, 10, 15, or even 20 years in age difference. Due to increased contraception and wealth, the number of children per woman of childbearing age is expeted to continue to decrease.

Aronson even tackles predicting what will happen to faith in a shift to longer lives. She forsees more religious shifts at different seasons of our lives as people live longer and evolve with their experiences over time. She feels fewer people will reliably stick with one faith their whole hundred-plus year life cycle.

100 Plus is a fascinating read, and fun to consider how our lives, careers, and family experiences will continue to change in response to longer time here on Earth. It sounds like it's time to take better care of ourselves, because we may have more time ahead of us than we realize. I guess I knew this already, as my  99 year old grandmother lives close to us, still reading the newspapers and staying on top of the trends. Take good care of your body, mind, and spirit. It looks like we may need all of this original equipment later.