Taking Care of Your Emotional Health During the Coronavirus Pandemic

Americans are just getting settled into our new temporary normal, as we join people from around the world in staying home and social distancing to help flatten the curve of the novel coronavirus. Uncertainty is one of the most difficult situations to deal with emotionally. It can make us feel anxious, afraid or depressed. We are also isolated from some of the other people we care about, and most of our normal routines.

This situation is unusual and is impacting everyone around the world. We are grieving. There are so many losses: work, financial concerns, regular contact in person with friends and family, normal
exercise routines, the pattern of your day, and the freedom to go out and do the things you like to do. When we are grieving losses, we go through the emotional tasks of mourning. These tasks include:

1.Accepting the reality of the losses/change
2.Experience the pain of the loss/express it to someone
3.Adapt to the new environment or change

At we go through this time, it is very important to care of yourself and the people you care about.

If you have children in your home, please limit the amount of news you have on.  Adults set the emotional tone for children. Try to stay calm, be reassuring, and make sure to play. Many parents who are not teachers by profession are now in a role teaching as well as running the household and maybe working remotely from home. Be patient with yourself and with your children. Normally most parents spend 20 minutes a day with children under 18 who live at home, so this is a good time to connect. Don't overwhelm kids or teens talking about the pandemic. You may want to ask them what they already know, and if they have any questions.

Children can also learn to do some age-appropriate chores to help the family, like caring for pets, setting or clearing the table, and making their own beds. Teens can be taught other daily life skills like doing their own laundry or cooking some simple meals while you have time to instruct on this.

Creative activity like drawing, painting, dancing and music are deeply relaxing for all ages. If you have a patio, backyard or deck, planting some vegetables and flowers could be fun to attend to each day.
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Remember that teens and college students are also experiencing loss and stress. It's a big adjustment to do remote learning, and they miss the in-person contact with their friends. They are missing sports, dances, hanging out with friends, clubs, life at college and possibly graduation.

For adults and children, try to create new routines and patterns that will work for you.It's good to get up at a set time, get showered and dressed. Eat at regular set mealtimes. Try to exercise daily, even if it's dancing in your living room or walking the dog in your neighborhood while you stay at a 6 foot distance from others. Exercise helps you deal with stress. Limit the amount of news. Ease up on your expectations of yourself and others.

Create routines for winding down in the evening the last hour before bedtime. Limit caffeine and alcohol use. Don't watch the news before going to bed, as it is likely to make it harder to sleep. Instead, try winding down with reading, quiet music that you find comforting or meditation. There are a number of great meditation aps you can put on your phone, including Calm and Headspace for adults. Smiling Mind is a terrific ap for helping children meditate that is free.

If you have a partner who is going through this with you, be kind. Ask for what you need. Be appreciative. Create boundaries if you are sharing space so you can have some separate space to work or be in as well as times to connect. Communicate with your partner about what they are doing that is helpful to you. Ask what you can do to make this home confinement period easier for them. Apologize and own it if you lash out in anger or impatience. Partners will have less autonomy and more time together than normal, so learning to negotiate with each other and respect each other's needs is critically important.

If you live alone, it's key to stay connected by phone calls, FaceTime, Zoom and email. Let others know that you want to check in with them daily.

If you know older family members or neighbors, or people who live alone or are medically vulnerable or out of work, reach out to be supportive. It feels good to see that you can still help someone else.

All of this change and loss is likely to cause some people to notice that it increases anxiety or depression to a level that it impacts daily functioning. If you need support and help, know that mental health professionals are essential services and are still working and available to meet with you in person, or remotely by teletherapy ( either a phone session or video call).

Hopefully, there will be lessons learned from this difficult time in our lives. Our values and priorities will likely look different when we get to the other side of it. People and relationships may be important to us than ever. Give yourself and your loved ones as much grace as you can. Even in these difficult time with being quarantined in this coronavirus pandemic and dealing with so much loss, we can do what writer Dan Buetner calls the 4 ingredients for happiness: someone to love, something to do,something to look forward to, and something to give back. Stay well!