Seymour: An Introduction (Film Review)

A few years ago, actor Ethan Hawke attended a dinner party with friends and was introduced to virtuoso pianist and composer Seymour Bernstein. They had a wonderful evening with conversation about stage fright, career success vs. success in life as a whole, developing and sharing your creative gifts, hard work and craft. Hawke was so intrigued with the 88 year-old Goldstein that he made him the subject of his first documentary film. I'm glad he did, because the sensitively constructed portrait and interviews with Bernstein and his current and former piano students of different ages has many valuable life lessons in it that don't require any knowledge of music.

Seymour: An Introduction (2014) is out in limited release in theatres now. It debuted at the Telluride Film Festival last summer and won an award at the Toronto International Film Festival. It's noteworthy that Seymour is a classical pianist who toured internationally as a younger man, and then abandoned his rising career at age 50 to retreat to a quieter life where he teaches piano from his one-room apartment in New York city.

In the film, we can see the mentoring relationship that Seymour develops with his students and former students, as well as with Hawke. Bernstein has wisdom, and he has his own ideas about creative gifts and talent.

Bernstein says in the film that he believes music is an important part of becoming a complete person. He suggests having children take piano lessons and having them practice while you supervise. Practicing a musical instrument is a great metaphor for others things in life which necessitate our continued effort, patience and tenacity. One of Bernstein's former students who is now a professional concert pianist himself laughs about how often people will comment after his concerts that they wish they could just sit down and play the beautiful classical pieces that he does. He reminds them that every song takes uncountable hours of practice. The craft is part of the art of music. It takes focus and discipline, which builds character.

Bernstein and Hawke engage in an interesting dialogue about professional success. Both agree that you don't always earn money for the things you most need to create, but you need to create them anyway. Hawke shares about making far more money on big films he doesn't care as much for, while some of his smaller projects (like this documentary film) mean much more. They both reflect on how the ego can get in the way of great art, music, film or theatre.

I especially liked the part of the film where Bernstein shares how he deals with questions about why he chose to stop performing publically after age 50. He says he feels he had done it, and proved he could do it. Since then, for the last 38 years, "he pours all of that out" in what he gives to his students.

In music, like in life, Bernstein says, we need harmony, conflict, and resolution.

Great music, like great art of all kinds, evokes deeply felt emotion that touches us at a very deep level. This thought resonated with me, as I reflected on hospice work with terminally ill patients years ago, and a gifted music therapist who could draw out emotion and responsiveness with her
harpsichord at the bedside. Music can transport us to another place, time or emotional state.

Hawke had confided in Bernstein about the stage fright he had developed in his 40's, and Bernstein reassures him that is normal in good performances. He had experienced it, too. Bernstein quips that maybe a few more (overly-confident artists) should feel some trepidation as well.

Seymour: An Introduction is a charming little independent film you will enjoy. It's chock full of his sage advice and reflections about living with passion and speaking honestly from your heart rather than saying what others expect. It is refreshing to have films that question what creative success really is and challenge the popular notion of easy success without sustained work at your craft. (Think The Voice or American Idol) Seymour has a lot to say about not only music, but about living life your own way. Now that's a life well lived.

What Maisie Knew

What does a child go through when their parents break up? What Maisie Knew is a newly released independent film directed by Scott McGehee and David Siegel that captures the child's eye view perfectly. The film shows us poignantly that good parents put themselves second, and their child or children first, and what happens when parents aren't capable of doing so.

The film is a retelling of the 1897 Henry James novel. It tells the story from the point of view of 7 year old Maisie. Her parents love her, but are almost completely self-absorbed with their work, and their bitter break-up and legal fight for custody. Maisie's mother, Susana, is a aging rock singer,  who is mostly unlikable and broken. She is played by Julianne Moore. Maisie's father is Beale, an aging art dealer who is having trouble getting work. He is played by Steve Coogan.

Many of the shots in the film artfully show things from Maisie's eye level. Just like childhood, Maisie's life is shown in brief fragments: playing with turtles in Central Park in New York where she lives, participating in class with her classmates, waiting for a parent who doesn't show up for drop off or pick up, playing with a toy, hearing her parents berate each other. Onita Aprile is the very special young actress who plays Maisie, simply and without sentimentality. Her big, beautiful brown eyes say it all. No dialogue is needed at times as you can see Maisie trying to make sense of what is happening.

One of the standout scenes involves Maisie hearing a florist delivery person bring flowers for her, and finding that her dad put them in the kitchen trash without telling her they ever arrived. Later she tiptoes into the kitchen, and finds the bouquet and card from her mom. She hides the flowers in her closet. When the nanny finds them there, Maisie explains that her dad must have been allergic to them. She's caught in the pull of loyalty to each of her parents, and they so clearly hate each other. It makes your heart break.

Both of Maisie's parents remarry. Alexander Skarsgard gives a remarkable performance as Lincoln, the young bartender who marries her mother. Lincoln is present and gives his whole attention to Maisie in the time he spends with her that is deeply moving and instructive. Lincoln reminds us how much children need play, and how joining with them in their world to draw, notice turtles, or play Monopoly helps children to cope and heal.

Maisie's dad marries her young Scottish nanny, Margo, played well by Joanna Vanderham. Margo is tender, kind, and reliably present. Both of the stepparents are, ironically, more reliable, caring, and emotionally supportive of Maisie than either of her natural parents, who are caught up with their own careers and their hatred of each other.

What Maisie Knew is a touching film that reminds us that childhood is fleeting, children need our protection, attention, and stability no matter what is happening in our lives. Loving a child is not enough. We must care, ultimately, more about what happens to the children than we do about expressing our anger or sadness over our own adult relationship failure. Transcending self is probably one of the most important aspects of being a good enough parent, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in.

As it turns out, Maisie knew way too much. I hope this film will inspire and educate other parents about not losing the focus in any divorce, which should be getting the children safely through it with protecting as much of their childhood as can possibly be done.

Stories We Tell

I saw an intriguing film this past week made by young Canadian actor/writer/director Sarah Polley, called "Stories We Tell." The 2012 film was produced by the National Film Board of Canada, and has won several film festival awards. The film was just released in the US this week. The film is a perfect launching point for discussion about the power of our personal narrative and how it may differ from the narratives of others in our own family.

The film documents Polley's search to learn more about her mother, who was a Canadian actress and casting director. Her mother died of cancer when she was 11.Within her family, it had been a  standing joke that she doesn't look like the rest of her four older siblings. She's the only redhead in the bunch. Her siblings, her father, her parents' close friends and family are all interviewed by Polley in the excavation of family secrets and the search for understanding and truth.

After her mother's death, Polley was raised by her father, Michael Polley, a former actor who turned to selling insurance after marrying her mother. In the film, Michael reads selected parts of his own memoirs with his reflections on his relationships with the children, and a balanced view of the pitfalls and gaps in his own marriage. Michael and Sarah, his youngest daughter, grew close as he finished raising her alone after his wife's death.

In the film, there is Sarah's investigation of a rumor that she is the product of an extramarital affair between her mother and someone other than her father.

I won't spoil the surprises of what Sarah finds out, but you owe it to yourself to see it. The film is artfully crafted, drawing us in as layers of facts and perceptions are shared in successive interviews Sarah conducts on film. There is much to ponder about her mother's true character, and about different aspects that were known to different people. Among the talented cast, there are 8mm film footage of look-alikes who artfully appear and bring the narration to life.

There are questions about who the story belongs to, and the different take different friends and family have on the story. There are wonderful insights about what leads to infidelity, questions about whether people in a relationship ever love completely equally, and about what is the core of being a parent. There is an examination of what really is family. In addition, there is a sense of how impossible it is for one to be fully known, and how many different people may have their own, unique understanding of the same individual.

"Stories We Tell" is a powerful little film, and while simply made, gets to the heart of the complexity of being fully human. The film reminds us that while we have our own narrative, so do the people we care about.

49 UP/ The View at Mid-Life and Beyond

I rented a really interesting DVD from Blockbuster this week called "49 UP". It caught my eye in the documentary section because it had a rave review from Roger Ebert,the film critic, who called it brillant and noted that the "UP" series of films is on his list of the ten greatest films of all time. I would recommend it highly to anyone in their 40's or beyond who is reflective and introspective about their own life and other people.

The film is by noted British director Michael Apted and is the most recent installment in a series of films which began interviewing 14 children from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds in 1964, when the children were each 7 years old. The first film was Seven Up, and has been followed with editions when the children became 14,21,28,35,42 and this film made in 2006 when they were each 49 years old. Apted hopes to follow up as the subjects turn 56 in three more years if he can keep all of the participants involved and hopefully everyone is still alive.

I found it fascinating when Apted flashes back to earlier conversations with each person at different ages. They open up about their lives, challenges, love relationships,parents, children, grandchildren, work, mistakes, vulnerabilities, hopes and dreams. Apted does a beautiful job of interviewing the people with compassion and insight, and in their home and lives. You get an intimate portrait of each person, as they move across their life journey.

The director set out to test the Jesuit belief that if you "show me the boy at 7, I can show you the man he will become". Apparently so, at least with the British people in this film. Flashbacks to earlier interviews become predictive, as we watch children at 7 explain what they care about, what they want out of life, and what their fears might be. Most interesting is how they are impacted by their parents choices,early family life,and goals or a lack of them.

The viewer can't help but to reflect on their own early childhood experiences, choice of life partner, career and decisions about whether or not to have children.
All these pivotal life choice moments, and then your own natural temperament and level of resilency, combining to make you uniquely you. We each end up writing our own life story, but as this excellent film reveals, we each start out with our own unique ingedients. We don't get any conscious choice of where we start out in life, and sometimes we only have a choice about our responses to our situation.

Recent research in Psychology shows that self-esteem drops from age 18 on to about age 50, when most people begin to feel better about themselves. I certainly saw this upswing in self acceptance and confidence in this film, when many of the subjects had been struggling with their lives, and less happy earlier at 35 and 42. By 49, people were more at peace. In her book, The New Passages, writer Gail Sheehy observes something similar, that the mid-life crisis is real for many people, and when our crisis in meaning is resolved, we feel better.

I am 49, so I look forward to that peace and confidence of mid-life arriving soon. I wonder if it arrives Fedex or UPS? This was in inspired storytelling project, and allows us the opportunity to introspect on how far we've come, and where we are each heading as we reset the course for the next part of the journey. I still have lots of fun and meaningful things I want to see and experience with the people I love, and I bet you do, too.