Sunday, May 29, 2011

Stay Calm and Carry On!

It's been said that our biggest fear, underlying all other fears,is that we won't be able to handle it(whatever it is).In life, it is incredibly important not to overreact,and instead,pause,breathe,and choose a response.Most things are not terminal. They might be disappointing,or frustrating,or scary, but reacting in panic is only going to complicate matters.

In love relationships,harsh set-ups and responses only push your partner away and make them more unlikely to open up and include you.If you want to solve lifes' problems together, staying calm and not freaking out helps encourage your parner to turn towards you.People who are in perpetual panic mode are exhausting to be close to.

On your own,staying calm and centered helps you to solve problems more effectively. It saves a whole lot of time and energy which could be wasted "awfulizing".Being dramatic takes a geat deal of emotional enegry that could be channeled into problem solving and adapting. It can help to remind yourself of other difficult situations you've gotten through,and identifying what you did that worked out well. What are your strengths? What internal and external resources do you have? Remind yourself that any life crisis will pass.

In parenting, being a harsh or emotional reactor makes it less likely your child or children will turn to you for support or input.They will think you are either a hothead or too fragile,and not be open when they are in trouble.If you wish to be someone they turn to,act accordingly!

At work,you can't afford to stress out. Co-workers will think less of you if any little thing sets you off. It will seve your career better to act AS IF you are calm and centered,even if you don't always feel it. Feeling follows action.Truth is,every day when we get up we face stressors of different kinds,including at work.That's why they call it WORK. Don't be surprised by it. Take mini-stress breaks throughout the day. Even walking outside and noticing the weather and the cloud formations helps to restore calm.

Whatever crisis or complications you may face this week,stay calm and carry on! You will take pride in developing more mastery over your reactions,and not letting your negative or fear-based feelings run the show.

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