Make Home Your Sanctuary

Home needs to be a place we can go to relax, recharge, and be ourselves. After a busy day at work or at school, it feels wonderful to come home to a peaceful, comfortable, and organized place where you can feel your blood pressure drop and your breathing ease. Of course, it also helps to create sanctuary at home if the people you live with treat each other with sensitivity, kindness, and consideration.

I have been thinking about creating a welcoming home, especially this summer, as my family moved to a new(old) house. It has been a great opportunity to go through things, donate items, throw things out, and simplify our home environment. It is a wonderful gift to teach our children and teenagers, also, to be organized and have a place where everything belongs. It makes day to day life much easier if you can find things. With the start of school, and the beginning of fall, it is a perfect time to help your school-age children find a place to keep their backpack and schoolwork to make your mornings run smoother. Sometimes, less is more.

For home to be a sanctuary, you need to declutter. Enough open space in each room will translate into feeling more relaxed and peaceful. Make sure there are soft, relaxing places for family and friends to plop down. Enough light and live plants will also create a soothing feel.

And how about the rules for the residents at your home? To have home truly be a sanctuary, you need the people in your home to act accordingly. Here are some guidelines:

*love is behavior, not just words

*don't hurt the the people or the things in your home

*make a commitment to talk through things, don't run away in anger

*have an attitude of curiousity towards yourself and your family members, don't assume things

*maintain boundaries (adult/child,etc.)

*bring your best self home at the end of the day, make conscious transitions from work to play

*use mealtimes as connecting time

*make happy memories at home, creating ways to play together

*be fun to live with


Have a wonderful week, and create a little more sanctuary at home for yourself and those you love. Home is never the square footage, it's where you feel loved and welcomed.

A Last Burst of Summer

How has your summer been? We are now entering the last glorious, unstructured days of summer before the season turns to fall. Did you make it to the beach or lake? Did you get out the boardgames and play them with your children? Did you make s'mores by firelight and watch the stars at night? Did you sneak out of work early to ride your bicycle or go for a hike? Did you make time for an afternoon nap in a hammock or couch or float on a raft in a pool?

It's now or never time for this summer. It is so important to be in the present with yourself and with those you love. Time to schedule some downtime, a movie day, or a roadtrip before we regroup for the start of fall. What have you missed out on this summer? Even wonderful summer tastes like ripe cantelope, barbequed corn-on-the-cob, and ice cream may be part of your happy childhood memories you can recapture easily.


A number of families I work with are making transitions soon. It is bittersweet to prepare to send your teenager off to college, or back to college for another year. Our oldest daughter is starting her senior year at college, and applying to grad school for next year. We are making our fall pilgrimage to help her move from her summer apartment off-campus apartment to the new one on-campus. Since it is our fourth year helping her with this process, we are getting it down to an easy and smooth flow. Imagine how good we will be at this when we send the younger kids in the next couple of years!

Fall is a new beginning. It is time for a trip to Staples for school supplies. It is a fresh start for parents to reset chores, family meetings, allowance, bedtimes, and schoolyear curfews. It is a good time to relook at the family budget (ala Dave Ramsey) and commit to paying cash, not credit. Fall approaching is a natural time to go through our closets and take a look at our clothes. The change of seasons is a an appropriate time to set goals for what we want to accomplish at work or in our personal life before 2010 is completed in a few months.

Enjoy these dog days of summer. See if you can't fit in a little more relaxation and joy before the summer wraps up Labor Day weekend. These lovely summer evenings, with their long twilights, will soon be gone. Soon enough it will be September, and I will be looking in our hall closet for the fall wreathes made of leaves. (Is that where I put those last year?) Savor every moment remaining of Summer 2010. You deserve it, so appreciate every last delicious moment of summer before it is a sweet memory.