This week, fear seems to be the theme. Getting past fear has come up in
several of my sessions with patients who are dealing with life changes. Overcoming
fear was part of the conversation I had with a friend while walking
together at the beach over the weekend. When it was the topic in a
meditation group I participated in earlier this week, I knew I wanted to
write some about facing and moving through fear. The intriguing question
that kept reoccurring was, "What would you do or be, if you could get
beyond your fears?"
What do writers and thinkers tell us about fear? Louise Hay, author of You Can Heal Your Life says it's
important to remember that fear is a limitation we place on ourselves. She
suggests we release the need for fear and replace it with reminders to ourselves
that are positive and loving. We create safety within ourselves. Hay offers
us this affirmation," I am a powerful human being! I love and
honor myself. All is well and I am safe." (Repeat often!)
Zig Ziglar, the amazing motivational speaker and writer, offers about fear
that we should let our faith be bigger than our fears.
Dr.Wayne Dyer, psychologist and writer, says on this topic, "You can
transcend any fear and self-rejection that defines your life. Treasure your
magnificence and live as beings of light and love."
My favorite book on the topic of letting go of fear is the very useable
and readable, Feel the Fear and Do It
Anyway, by Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. I have often recommended this book to
people, because it really helps you understand how we can get immobilized in
our fears, being so afraid of making a mistake. Jeffers helps us see that if
you are gentler with yourself, you can often realize that any movement out of
your own small box of life can be good. It can help you get into the next sized
box of life. We each need growing edges in our life, or we get bored and stale.
Many successes are a series of choices and course corrections, so try to
take the pressure off yourself to have a whole path to a big goal figured out
in advance. If you take one small step, the next step may get clearer. Think of
driving in a rainstorm, where you can only see so much of the road ahead of you
at one time. Jeffers helps us to see that the bottom level fear that most of us
have is not being able to handle "it," whatever "it" is
that life throws at us.
Another classic I love on the topic of overcoming fear is Gerald Jampolsky,
M.D.'s Love Is Letting Go of Fear.
This book is elegant in its simplicity, with lovely drawings to illustrate its
main points. Jampolsky, a psychiatrist and writer, believes there are only two
places people operate from in relationships, and in life: love and fear. It's
far better to choose love as your base of operations.
How can you get unstuck from your fears this week which are making your
world too small, and your vision of yourself too limited? Try these tips:
1. Write down your own reflections about what you would do, be, or have, if
it were not for your fears.
Share your thoughts with someone you trust. Set some baby steps. For
example, if you have been thinking of going back to school, your baby step
could be looking at the course offerings at the college nearest to your home or
office. The baby step should be something that you can do with a small amount
of effort within an hour or so.
2. Use the energy invested in the fear to break through it. Let it make you
mad that we are all here for a limited time, and that you have not been taking
on the task of leading a bigger, more meaningful life in the present.
3. Imagine how you feel when you accomplish one of your desired goals. Take
in that proud, warm, alive feeling. Channel it into more baby steps forward.
Do, evaluate, adjust, and repeat.
4. Be present in the now. Fear is past and future based. Take what
constructive action you can take today towards one goal. Don't use your past
guilt or hurt or your fear of the future keep you using those things as an
excuse for making your life the best, most beneficial thing you can create.
5. Ask a therapist or someone else you trust for help in getting started. Often
in working together collaboratively, we can nudge you ahead in a more efficient
way, helping you build insight as to what is getting in your way. Smart people
ask for help and don't try to do everything alone.
Fear? Just because it's normal, don't let it limit or harness to create, improve,
grow, and be of service to others. Recognize it, and push past it. Your bigger,
bolder, better life is waiting for you to step into it!
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Getting Unstuck From Fear
Labels:
fear,
getting unstuck,
Jerry Jampolsky MD,
Louise hay,
Susan Jeffers,
Wayne Dyer,
Zig Ziglar
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