Getting In The Driver's Seat In your Life

I recently read business coach Brian Tracy's new book,"No Excuses". It was a great reminder about how wonderful it is to be a person, or be around people, who have an internal locus of control.It's like you are in the driver's seat in the car that represents your life.People who have an external locus of control are in the passenger seat in their car.

Your choice of language often is a revealing source of information about where you are seated in your life. People with an internal locus of control use language that is positive,action and future oriented,and they own their own choices and consequences.They speak about "I want","I choose",or "I don't want".They try to see their own part to any difficult relationship or situation,and endeavor to change it.

People with an external locus of control use language that reflects victim status.They complain,blame, and whine,rather than solving problems and moving along.They might say "I have to",or"I should".These individuals blame others for their disappointments.They focus on the past,regrets, and unfairness. The truth is that life is unfair,and bad things do happen to good people.As I coach my clients,it is important to grieve losses and sort out painful things that happen,but not to take up permanent residency in that neighborhood.People in this passenger seat in life blame others and avoid using their own personal power to enact change or have a good life,anyway.

Notice this week if you can discipline yourself to use language that reflects that you are sitting in your own driver's seat in your car.Take responsibility.Blame noone.Solve problems.Make a plan and take an action step to deal with a relationship you are hurting about,or a situation you don't like.Watch what happens,and feel the good self-esteem that comes from driving your own car!